“People don’t believe what you say; they believe what you show them.” This is the advice I recently gave Tracey, a frustrated client whose team only half-heartedly listened each time she spoke. She said they were consistently distracted during meetings and conversations, and she couldn’t figure out why she didn’t have enough influence to keep their attention.
I asked her to be honest and confess if she did the same.
The answer wasn’t surprising.
Tracey confessed to occasionally allowing text messages and emails to distract her during meetings. She said even a few times; she stepped out of meetings to answer calls she considered too necessary to ignore.
That’s when she realized her team exhibited the same behavior she showed them—showing her.
Like Tracey, we all want to be influential but rarely consistently demonstrate the actions needed to earn it.
People only know what you tell them and what you show them, and when those two messages fail to align, your influence suffers.
Influential professionals ensure their message and delivery are consistent from Monday to Monday. They know they must show up the same way every day and in every interaction. Here are three ways you can grow your influence by doing the same:
Ask About Your Inconsistencies.
By the end of this week, ask someone you know and trust to honestly share the inconsistent behaviors they see you demonstrate in and out of the office. Then, write it down.
Maybe you tune out on your devices or are sometimes late to meetings. Maybe you are slow to respond to emails or are inconsistent in how you do.
Knowing your inconsistent tendencies will help you identify the behavioral pattern.
Avoid the Perfection Trap.
People want the best you, not the perfect you.
You are perceived as credible and trustworthy when you consistently show up every day. Many leaders think that delivering a perfect presentation in a high-stakes scenario is enough to earn influence, but it’s not.
It comes from the consistent behaviors you demonstrate in the day-to-day conversations that matter most.
Right now, set aside 30 minutes before your day begins. Use this time to prepare for your daily meetings, even those that aren’t high stakes. Consider what you want to discuss and what actions you want to take.
By spending more time preparing for every meeting, your delivery will be consistent, no matter what is at stake.
Prioritize Actions, Not Words.
We all know someone who commits to a project or a deadline and rarely follows through. No matter how much we ‘like’ the person, it’s hard to trust them.
Trust is earned by consistently following through on commitments. A surprising statistic recently found that 50% of employees don’t trust their leaders to do this.
If you say you will deliver a project by a specific date, do it. If you say being on time is essential, don’t be late. If you say you value quick responsiveness, respond to emails and phone calls promptly. Your consistent actions, not your words are how others will perceive you.
Beginning tomorrow, for every commitment you make someone, send an email to follow up to your verbal commitment.
If you promised to address unanswered questions during a meeting, email all attendees with the unanswered questions and a date you commit to responding.
If you told your team you would host a training meeting or discussion on a topic, email everyone on your progress to deliver.
When you follow up with those you’ve committed to, you will become consistent in your follow-through and build trust with others.
Earning influence requires work and consistency in every situation, with every person, Monday to Monday. If you lack the necessary influence, follow these three simple tips to become consistent today.
